By Steve McKinney

McKinney Consulting Inc.

Too often when we communicate with our friends or family members we are misunderstood. We scratch our heads and say to ourselves are we speaking the same language or what? Why don't they understand me?

According to Webster one definition of communication is the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs. So, if we are all speaking the same language why do we misunderstand each other? Well, I don't have all of the answers but I have a few of them to consider.

The challenge comes from the cultural background of Koreans in comparison with westerners. We might be speaking the same English language to each other but the interpretation or understanding can be quite different. Those differences and where they come from is what we are interested in.

Koreans are classified as a collectivistic society and the goal of communication is to maintain harmony. While the Anglo-Saxon is classified as an individualistic society and the goal of communication is for information.

Koreans are emotional, easily embarrassed and really take feelings into account. The Anglo-Saxon is more logical, impersonal and tends to separate issues from their feelings.

With Koreans they tend to let arguments escalate very rapidly. While we ascertain an argument as an accepted form of communication, even enjoyable and stimulating.

They avoid appearing to oppose anyone directly, while, we tend to be sincere and persuade through argument. It is also interesting to note that Koreans do not look at you directly in the eyes for any length of time while we are trained to do the opposite. We view not looking at someone in the eye as someone hiding something and they view it as showing disrespect.

Koreans view refusal as ruining the atmosphere. A refusal with reason to an Anglo-Saxon is acceptable. You may have heard of the Korean word "kibum" when translated means mood. Koreans are very sensitive about affecting the mood of a person, especially in the mornings. They will usually delay giving bad news to their boss to the afternoon.

Koreans will often give positive answers to avoid disturbing harmony or hurting feelings:
Yes (in answer to negative)
I'll try / do my best / if I can
I personally agree / want to do it
I agree with you in principle
I sympathize with your position
The Anglo-Saxon views factual answers to impart information and to show sincerity:
No (in answer to negative)

I cannot because
I disagree
You can see from these examples the frustration and misunderstandings that can easily occur.

Sometimes when a Korean says "YES" they mean I heard you. To us we interpret "YES" as I heard what you are saying go on.

To Koreans messages are through food and drink and language is secondary. To Anglo-Saxon's language is the primary source.

Koreans exhibit a high level of nonverbal communication (Nunchi), especially with superiors. We are word-based communication at all levels.

Koreans believe that society is unreasonable; and there is no place for logic. We believe society is controllable; and we persuade through step-by-step logic.

The Koreans also look down on calm, rational arguments or prepared speeches as a "language game"; the prefer speaking from the heart. We tend to value calm, rational arguments and prepared talks.

Their speech is prose-oriented; indirect or matter of fact. Westerners who have lived here a long time tend to describe this as talking in circles. Our speech is more factor-oriented and direct to the point.

Often times the Koreans will have delayed responses out of a fear of being wrong. While we tend to deliver quick responses at the risk of being wrong. I know of one Korean President who asked my assistance on a business communication with a westerner. Upon looking at the e-mail I noted that the date of the message was around 6 months old. He had waited in responding because he feared communicating the wrong message. Obviously, the business opportunity was long gone by this point in time.

Lastly but not least in importance is the fact that the Korean language is hierarchical in structure and the English language is considered egalitarian. This language structure forces the issues of titles and constant judging of whose older, whose title is larger and affects about everything about Korean life as we know it.

Here are 5 highlights of the Korean Culture:

1) They subscribe to the Confucian concepts of authority, duty, hierarchical relationships, and inequality.

2) They value highly education because it offers the road to higher status, wealth and success..

3) There is a strong sense of family loyalty, which is the foundation of Korean life, and includes a powerful sense of duty and obligation.

4) They are proud of their long history, the homogeneity of their people, and the tremendous progress they have made in the past 50 years.

5) They are also group oriented rather than individually oriented.

Steven B. McKinney is the President of McKinney Consulting Inc., Korea's most trusted executive search firm.  McKinney Consulting offers a comprehensive range of personalized and professional resource services to a wide cross-section of companies operating in Korea and Asia. Mr. McKinney is a globally established commentator on international management. he can be reached at This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it