by Susan Oak

Ewha University

Ch’emyon or social face is still a controlling force in Korean society because of the prevailing focus on status, hierarchical relationships, and entrenched notions of appropriate behavior. We can also describe ch’emyon as the prestige, pride, dignity, honor, and reputation related to one’s position in society. A couple of examples will illustrate the concept.

Last semester, I wrote a recommendation for a student who wanted to get into a U.S. law school. Law schools in the U.S. usually require a detailed and descriptive recommendation that can be quite lengthy and therefore time-consuming for a busy professor, especially when there are many requests of that type.

Unlike students in the West who often write a polite e-mail to thank you for your time, Korean students will typically come to your office in person with a card and small gift to show their appreciation. However, this particular student did neither.

About two weeks later, a group of students came to my office bringing cards, flowers, and gifts. "We have come to save your ‘face,’" they told me. Although their words made me smile, one look at their faces quickly told me that the situation was serious. They had come to thank me for writing the recommendation and to apologize for their friend’s behavior towards me. "She left the country quickly. But it is no excuse," one of the students said. Their friend had not behaved within acceptable norms and they were there to extend their apologies in order to restore harmony in the relationship and reestablish their friend’s own ‘face’ as well as mine. In that way, she would not have to run away in shame when she saw me on the campus.

A few years ago, a colleague and I almost got fired for speaking up at a faculty meeting and ‘shaming’ our boss. A Korean faculty member, who was at the same meeting, quickly advised us to go and apologize, so I scheduled an appointment even though our response at the meeting had been within Western norms of etiquette. "But not within Korean norms," we were told. Westerners tend to have a vague sense of face, equating it with momentary embarrassment. But the Korean sense of face is much more pervasive and subtle. Koreans tend to focus their daily lives, actions, and social interactions around maintaining ‘face.’ Accordingly, when ch’emyon has been affected, and a relationship becomes off balance, you must immediately restore that equilibrium. It can be a delicate and prickly situation but not hopeless if a sincere apology is promptly made. In our situation, we kept our jobs.

Last week I was at another faculty meeting with new foreign teachers who were chatting loudly among themselves as the boss sat down. Koreans do not always bring a meeting to order but will wait patiently for the order to happen naturally. As the boss waited, I quickly took it upon myself to bring the meeting to order. This was not necessarily my role but ch’emyon is related to how appropriately others behave toward you according to your expectations, which are, in turn, based on your own position and situation. I read the situation correctly, and succeeded in maintaining the ch’emyon of the participants at the meeting.

The writer teaches at the English Program Office Ewha Womans University